The need of being Selfish to flow Selflessly

Be selfish! Are you wondering what am I talking about? Being selfish is mostly seen with negative prejudice.


However, selfishness is an important art of self-nourishing that is required for us to work in harmony with nature, life, and everybody on planet earth. This simple truth can help you to overcome your pain at the deepest levels. This in turn allows us to be truly selfless in motives.


Let’s take an empty bucket to understand this principle. If a bucket is empty, can it give water to others? The answer is no.


We are all taught to be selfless, sacrificial and take care of others while others take care of us. The problem with this whole sequence is that we all are trying to take care of others, sacrificing, loving but we all are empty inside. Result, everybody feels under nourished and unloved.  How can you care for other when you are empty?


Have you seen lovers? Lovers mostly feel cheated in the end.


Most relationships begin with great love, passion, and enthusiasm, however, tend to end up in broken hearts, unbearable emotional pain. They expected love to pour out from other and satisfy their innermost core. The reality is both were beggars and expecting the other to give love. Lovers had conditions in their mind, if I give sex, I take this. These business deals will be exposed sooner or later, and the love evaporates. Love is pure, innocent and has no conditions.



It is easy to ask a mother to be selfless to a child but is it feasible unless she is selfish too first?


She needs to fulfil her needs of survival, love & belonging, meaning, growth, contribution, etc. before she can take care of a baby. In a flight, just before take-off, you must have seen a flight crew showing how to put the face mask on self before putting to your baby.


This is how life works. Trees give fruits after a decade of self-nourishment on sunlight, water, air, and soil. We need to nourish and meet our own needs before we can think about others else, we risk something even disastrous.


An imbalance is created when we don’t meet our needs. For instance, sometimes when we don’t care for our own needs, we might not even realize it but what happens is our expectations will become very high from others, we might start controlling them, even bursting out in anger, etc.


Nobody in a healthy state of mind likes control. Soon, the relationship falls off. We are left broken-hearted. We don’t understand the root cause of the problem. Once we understand it, we can naturally heal ourselves as well as the relationship.


You can only give when you have something to give. Just empty vessels knocking each other and claiming that they sacrificed their lives and got nothing in return. This is the main issue that we face today.


Selfishness is just pure alignment with your own self, own needs. This is good. This is pure love. This is fun.


Let me share my experience with it. What I noticed is that the moment that I gave myself freedom to enjoy myself and look after my own needs, my pain left me. What happened in the past was true. But what was affecting me and keeping me in pain, was that I had somehow become my own worst enemy. It was shocking to have this realization. The moment I became my best friend, life changed. I became whole. I could fill up myself whenever I needed. I started living in simple words, a blissful life. The amount of freedom that this simple secret gave to me is unbelievable.


The true magic had just started.


When I became the most selfish person, in true words, I became the most selfless person. As I was filled up, taking care of my own needs, when I did something for others, it was without any expectation. I did it just to benefit or help. The ulterior motives, the necessity of praise, reciprocity had reduced or vanished. This is what I call, Selfishness to Selflessness.


It gave me great boost in my inner happiness. I felt connected to the community and at the same time, free of dependency. This interplay of life gave me music and another layer of rhythm.


It helped me to reduce the isolation and barriers that I had created in past. I could go in and out. I could trust people once again and give people out of freedom. I love this way of living.



Next time, if somebody tells you to stop being so selfish, think again. It is your soul food.


Thus, this principle of being selfish to flow selflessly, is very important and key to good and sound emotional health.










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